my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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