I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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