A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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