id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
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Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
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The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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