Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
