Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
