She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
