I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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