That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
