where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
