i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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