So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
