question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
