we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
