I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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