just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
