is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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