So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
