it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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