Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
