you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
