operation harelip BJ is a go
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
She told me I should be a condom model.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
