halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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