You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
