eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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