Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
