new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
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