I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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