dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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