i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.