Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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