you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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