I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
