go do what you do best...puke behind churches
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
