Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
