yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
