Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
