this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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