Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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