Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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