Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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