She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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