He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
She's the barista slut.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
