its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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