Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
So squirting runs in the family.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
