you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
