My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
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