It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
