Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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