BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
