He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
