I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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