physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
barbara walters just said penis...
There was a lot of him and a little penis
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
