u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
