I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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