Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
