Swine flu. Run for my life!
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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