He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
