Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
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the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
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THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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