; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
