my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
He keeps bees of course he's weird
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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