Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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