butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
