Cold hands, warm shart.
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
