did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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