He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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