We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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